July 22, 2014 § 1 Comment
A thousand apologies for these lengthy intervals between posts, I’ve no excuse other than gallivanting around Europe with sporadic and unreliable internet access. I also fear this irregularity will continue briefly until I’m back in the country for good in September – bear with me!
So, news. Travelling through the continent is a practical guarantee to some sexy time, what with all those unwashed backpackers looking for kinky stories to relay to their folks back home, and my experience was no exception. My man-count hit a spectacularly average three, each more clichéd than the last.
Number one was an American backpacker I shared a hostel with in Italy. He explained that his girlfriend had given him a “free pass” during his travels. As far as I know, mate, you’re single, so spare me the gory details. One and I fooled around in the barely-passably clean kitchenette, before I sent him drunkenly stumbling to bed, as I had a train to catch.
Number two was in Europe’s largest club. I was dancing away to the oldies when I was approached by this Aussie, the best candidate I’d seen all night. We made out and we swapped facebooks. You know, just in case I ever move to Sydney and want to reconnect with that guy I said roughly two and a half words to in Prague.
Three was more interesting, in that I’d met him in Italy, and then we’d managed to meet again in Germany, where he’s studying abroad. I was meant to be going home that night, but a couple of beers down the line and I thought it’d be a simply fantastic idea to take up this guy’s invitation to crash in this tiny German town two hours away by bus…
We were pretty well behaved considering we had to share a bed, although my American friend wasn’t exactly encouraging celibacy with his roaming hands and probing questions; “So, do you like rough sex?”
Again, we only fooled around, but my experience was tainted when he insisted I pay him back for the 10 euro bus journey despite my lack of funds. Soon as I’d left his place I received a text of his bank details and nothing else. Who says chivalry is dead? (I came to fucking Friedrichshafen. You got to see me semi-naked. You have a full time job, forget the £8.50! Jeesh)
So all in all not an astounding line-up, but at least I got to end my European adventure with a little bang. Plus the entire coach journey home I was sexting Frank, so I can’t really complain too much in terms of sex life.
Now I just need to fuck him on his boat..